Soni Pelty

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When he's not paying attention to you...

When he's not paying attention to you and the feeling that nags at you when he's not paying attention...

Phones have become a little too interesting these days. It can be tough to put the tech device down in the moment, even when spending time with the one you love. If your husband, or boyfriend or the man you're dating is on his phone when you're with him out on a date on the dinner table at home, it can be frustrating. Especially after you have told him that you don't feel good about it.

How can you get your man to pay attention to you, without it coming across as nagging?

I got an email from my private client, Ann, regarding this.

Hi Soni,

I need your advice on how to handle a small situation...

I have had a chat with my husband in the past that I do not feel good about using our phones at the table when we are seated for dinner or if he and I go out for a date. But sometimes he still pulls out his phone (not too often but it does happen) and he starts reading an email or an article or something. I just get really quiet, I don't say anything and I hope he will take notice but it can take a while before he realizes it and then puts the phone down, at this point I am annoyed and irritated because I do find it rude. It happened today and I did not say anything but I am pretty sure he could feel my vibe change and he put it away. I worked on myself and brought my vibe back up...but just wondering if there is a way I can address this if it happens again? Or is this one situation I should just drop and leave alone?

So this was my response to Ann and to all other women out there struggling with this situation...

Hi Ann,

The fastest way to get his attention is to, STOP, stop whatever you're doing, stop the motion, and stop the energy. Even when you're thinking...

"Why is he on his phone after I have told him several times it doesn't make me feel good when he's on his phone, when we're together."

Your frustrated energy is still going to him and he can feel it even though you don't say anything.

Instead, if you can, turn your back to him physically, start looking around, play with your hair, or walk away. Head to the kitchen, walk to the ladies room. If you're at a restaurant and you're stuck sitting across from him and he's looking at his phone, instead of saying something like...

"Hey, pay attention to me, don't look at your phone, or how rude it is..."

You kind of just go into yourself, so you might look into your purse, you might even pull out your own phone, or focus  on something in the distance...stopping that frustrated energy flow will immediately get his attention. Oh, what just happened!!

That's an immediate attention getter, instead of going to him with your energy, pull away from him.

Then when he looks up you can say...

"Honey, I just love being with you and I enjoy our conversations, you're so interesting and sometimes when we are together and you're on your phone it feels awkward and makes me feel like not being here. What do you think? Can you help me here?"

This is so simple, so feminine. You're not blaming him; you're not giving him your frustrated energy. You're just telling him how you feel; now he will be ready to listen to you and make you happy.

For more relationship and dating advice join my private Facebook group Magnetize Him...